Emily Hottel King

Earlier this week, I told one of my coworkers that I love making cheesecake. It’s one of my signature offerings when hosting a celebration. My friends and family love my cheesecakes, and I’m always proud of how they turn out.

“I think I’d like to try making a cheesecake,” said my coworker.

“It’s not hard at all,” I explained, “but it is a big commitment.”

“How so?”

“Well, for it to turn out well, you need all your ingredients to be at room temperature before you start baking. And you need to bake the cheesecake in a water bath, which means wrapping the springform pan in aluminum foil, and having a large roasting pan to place the cake pan inside of. And after you bake the cake, you must let it cool slowly, so it sits in the oven for about an hour, then it cools on the counter for another hour or so, then it goes into the refrigerator overnight. So, if I start a cheesecake after getting home from work around 5:30 or 6 PM, I’m usually not completely done til after midnight.”

To which my coworker responded, “I think I will not be trying to make a cheesecake.”

I laughed. Fair enough! But for me, every step of that process is worth it when I get to share a delicious homemade dessert with people I care about. I’m proud of my creation! I’m proud of the work I put in! And because I’ve done it so many times, I don’t feel overwhelmed when I think about all the necessary steps or how long it will take. I know the process, and I’m confident about going from start to finish.

There are, of course, other areas of my life where I DO feel overwhelmed when I think about the necessary steps or how long the process might take. Setting up my Christmas decorations. Taking down my Christmas decorations. Giving the dogs a bath. Doing my taxes. Continuing education classes for my license. Getting a mammogram. If I’m being honest, sometimes just thinking about unloading and reloading the dishwasher has me feeling like I’m packing for a month-long road trip.

It’s too much.

There’s just no way.

That sounds exhausting.

Why bother?

I’ll do it later.

Our brains love to talk us out of change because we evolved to conserve as much energy as possible and prioritize survival over everything else. So of course, we want to stay wrapped up in our cozy blankie and ignore the pile of dirty mugs in the sink. (It’s me, I’m the we.) But opting out of our chores, our responsibilities, our long-term goals and our heartfelt dreams because we don’t want to feel a negative emotion might seem like a good idea in the moment, but ultimately it makes us miserable.

What dreams and desires have you been avoiding because of the effort you’d have to put in? What shortcuts are you taking and telling yourself are “just fine” when you know it’s not really what you want? I might pick up a storebought cheesecake to bring to a party because I’m running late, and in that case “just fine” might actually be fine. But my career? My relationships? My health? My joy and fulfillment? I don’t want to keep putting off the life I want just because it’s easier to keep coasting through the life I already have.

Life coaching is what has enabled me to push past the barriers in my own mind toward the goals I want to reach. I’ve learned how to quiet the dialogue inside my brain that wants to keep me safe and small, and I want YOU to learn how to do that, too.

This is not a post about cheesecake. It’s about you investing in your future instead of staying where you are because you’re scared, discouraged, or overwhelmed. It’s about asking for help when need it (just book that consult!) and committing to the process of change because you know you’re worth it.